Raising children positively

The IAmGenM column by Michael Baylosis, “Raised by the rod” (11/9/18), made two references on parenting that gave me reaffirmation on the way I raised my children:

“In the United States, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) called for a ban on spanking, saying that research has proven that corporal punishment can affect normal brain development. Striking a child can cause elevated stress hormones that may change the brain’s structure.

“Verbal punishment such as shaming may also cause the same effect. Dr. Robert Sege, formerly a member of the AAP Committee on Child Abuse and Neglect, said these punishments affect children’s performance in school and their interaction with other kids, and may lead to mental health issues and cause children to become more aggressive as they become adults.”

For my children, what I did was simple: a constant show of honest, heartfelt affection (it’s easy if it’s there). Being affectionate every breathing minute was what I called “positive”; a lessening or a halt was “neutral”; punishment was “negative.” No negative was ever needed; if, for example, my children broke a cup, I didn’t have to say a word. They immediately felt my reaction, which was a momentary halt in the “lagi-laging pagmamahal”—and that was all they needed to realize that they had made a mistake.

Now successful at work, they receive honors and awards as they have since preschool.

ATIS ALTAMIRANO, [email protected]