Forgiven

The story is told about a couple who had a big fight which finally ended when they prayed together. They embraced each other, then the wife asked: “What did you pray for me?” The husband said: “The same thing that you prayed for me.” Whereupon the wife said: “So you had the same wish as mine!” And the fight started all over again.

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In today’s Gospel (Mt. 18, 21-35), Jesus tells about not putting an end to forgiveness. How often must we forgive? As long as, and as often as we are asked. We have been forgiven so many—nay, countless—times by the Father, so we too must learn to forgive one another, as much.

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There is a story about the word “forgiven” engraved on a tombstone in a cemetery somewhere in New York City. No date of birth, no date of death, no epitaph. Just the person’s name and the word “Forgiven.” Come to think of it, in the end, that is the only thing that matters. After all has been said and done, what matters most is that we leave this world in God’s mercy and love.

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Humility is the key to forgiveness. Without humility, we cannot accept our mistakes, and without humility, we cannot accept others’ mistakes. Pride is the single biggest block on the road to reconciliation and forgiveness. It all starts with the first step, wherein one sincerely says: “Have mercy on me, Oh God, for I am a sinner.”

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Someone once said that forgiveness is relinquishing our right to hurt back. If we do not forgive and continue to hurt back those who offended us, the hurting goes on and on. What we don’t realize is that as long as we do not forgive, we continue to hurt our very selves.

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Hatred or revenge is like acid, and the container of that acid is our hearts, 24 hours a day, even while we are sleeping. So be good and be kind to yourself. Forgive. Just let go and let God.

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Remember the story about a monk who was trying to save a scorpion on a leaf that was adrift on a river? Every time he reached out, the scorpion would bite back. When asked why he kept doing it, the monk’s reply was: “It is the nature of the scorpion to bite. It is my nature to love. Why should I give up my nature to love just because of the scorpion’s nature to bite?”

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“Forgiveness is better than revenge, for forgiveness is the sign of a gentle nature, but revenge is the sign of a savage nature.”  (Epictetus)

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I am basically a gentle-natured person, but driving in Metro Manila brings out the savage nature in me especially when I encounter the stupidity and selfishness of other drivers who don’t know or who don’t care at all about rules!  How often have I shaken my head in anger, frustration and disbelief, with matching not-so-pleasant words, but always ending it with “God bless you!” Though upset, saying a blessing instead of a curse helps me remember the presence and the patience of God who has forgiven my stupidity and selfishness so many times. Besides, it helps to lower blood pressure and remove stress. Try it. It works.

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When unable to forgive, instead of following the proud “who-are-they-anyway?” line, try to start with the humble line “who-am-I-anyway?” If we really know and accept who we really are, we can surely let go of our insecurities and pride.

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Forgiveness is a choice, a decision we make.  When we forgive, we set free not the other person, but ourselves. When we let go of pride and hurts, we open ourselves to peace and happiness. To forgive does not mean to say it did not happen (it did happen!), neither does it mean to say that it didn’t hurt (it did hurt!). To forgive means I will not let that which happened and that which hurt become a wall between myself and the offender.

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Invert the word “forgive” and you have the words “give for.” The secret of forgiveness is to give for the Lord the hurts and anger within. That which we cannot fix, let the Lord fix. That which we cannot handle, let the Lord handle.

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Allow me to share with you my forgiveness prayer which I pray every night on my knees before sleeping:  “Lord, forgive me all my sins. I forgive all who have hurt me. I ask for forgiveness and pray for those I have hurt. With humility and gratitude I joyfully accept your unconditional love and forgiveness. Amen.”

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“Jesus, I trust in you. Mama Mary I love you!” Say this prayer often, and you will experience peace and liberation from worldly cares and pressures.

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Last September 8, birthday of Mama Mary, the Society of the Divine Word (SVD), celebrated its 136th Foundation Day. Through the years, the Blessed Mother, who is full of gentleness and humility, has been our inspiration in our ministry. We wish to thank you, dear friends and benefactors, who help us and journey with us in our mission. God bless you. Mama Mary loves you!

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A moment with the Lord:

Lord, help me to forgive much as you have forgiven me much. Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner. Amen.