Calida’s next target: Odel, PDEA’s hero dog

In his recent “tête-à-tête” with Chief Presidential Legal Counsel Salvador Panelo, President Duterte mentioned the name of Sen. Antonio Trillanes IV at least 20 times. And that could be a problem. The last time he uttered someone else’s name that much, his wife filed for annulment.

Critics described President Duterte’s behavior during his talk with Panelo as “childish” and “immature.” Mr. Duterte lashed back at them, threatening repeatedly to “tell Mom.”

A couple of days back, President Duterte presided over a command conference for Typhoon “Ompong.” It was great to see someone on top of something he’s really good at: disasters.

It’s still several weeks till Halloween but in his TV appearances, we can notice President Duterte is already wearing a mask.

When asked about the status of his health, the President talked about Jose Maria Sison, the Magdalo group, and the alleged conspiracy to oust him. He’s not well, obviously.

Here’s another pre-Halloween joke for you. Two guys (who do not know each other) wearing identical Bongbong Marcos masks walk into a Halloween costume party. One of the guys says, “Well, this is awkward. We can’t be both losers tonight.”

Defense Secretary Delfin Lorenzana admitted it was Solicitor General Jose Calida who called him on Aug. 16  “to get the amnesty records” of Senator Trillanes. Fifteen days later, President Duterte would claim Trillanes’ amnesty records were missing. Remember the saying, “Never judge a book by its cover”? Not all the time.

For helping authorities detect shabu in the magnetic lifters found in a warehouse in Cavite, a 6-year-old dog named Odel was awarded a “Medalya ng Papuri” by the Philippine Drug Enforcement Agency.

The President has earlier dismissed the P6.8-billion shabu shipment as “pure speculation.” Calida has started his inquiry into Odel’s training records.

According to Gallup’s annual Global Emotions Report, 2017 was the world’s most miserable year in more than a decade. People experienced worry, physical pain, sadness, stress and anger. Or, as that’s called in the Philippines, the five stages of President Duterte’s “war on drugs.”

The Department of Justice is offering a reward of P500,000 for information leading to the arrest of alleged big-time drug lord, Peter Lim. Even Peter Lim was like, “Five hundred thousand??? Do you want me arrested or not?”

Here’s bad news: Reports say some witnesses against Andal Ampatuan Jr. have recanted their testimonies. Harry Roque, a former counsel of some Maguindanao massacre victims, is upset. He couldn’t believe that witnesses would just abandon the side of truth in exchange for something. To which, those witnesses replied, “Look who’s talking.”

Marcelo Landicho is more popularly known online as the award-winning blogger and political satirist The Professional Heckler. On Twitter: @HecklerForever8; blog Archive: professionalheckler.com