At 25

I’m 25. When I was in college, I’d imagine that, by this age, I would finally start “picking stars,” make it a crown and show the world that I made it. I was so ambitious then.

But, it’s not happening now.

At 25, my world is crumbling.

At 25, I am in deep sorrow over an unimaginable heartbreak, a loss that will never be filled.

At 25, I dread waking up at 5 a.m., but still do because “work.”

At 25, I can hardly buy the white sneakers and the books I want, because “priorities.”

At 25, I’m not yet independent enough to stand on my own and decide for myself.

At 25, I still get hurt over humiliating confrontations and untimely corrections.

At 25, I still cry over petty stuff.

At 25, I still tremble when speaking to a crowd (except in the classroom).

At 25, I can hardly start a conversation. I suck at talking to people I don’t know on a personal level.

At 25, I still don’t know how to apply makeup or fix my hair.

At 25, I still think I’m cute. (Ha!)

The list goes on…

Although my job provides me and my family with our daily needs, it’s clear: Work is not everything.

At 25, I have a clearer perspective. I’ve learned that my family loves me dearly. They adore me beyond compare. In good and bad times, family is always family.

At 25, I’ve learned that friends come and go, but they will remain in our hearts. There are friends that God appointed to be in our lives by season. There are those who will stay no matter what, and those who are far in distance but always close in thought.

At 25, I’ve learned to simplify. Life is complex, so we must simplify. Let’s take one day at a time — each second of every moment. Let’s do one task at a time. There’s a reason our hands are small — to do the job in our grasp.

At 25, I’ve learned that it’s okay to not be able to travel, to have my dream job, to meet the right guy at this point in my life.

At 25, I’ve learned that we cannot please everyone. No matter how good, how brilliant, how kind, how brave, how beautiful we are, there will always be that someone who will not be happy about it. So just live according to your own freakin’ way, dear.

At 25, I’ve learned that there will always be difficult people who seem to have mastered the art of fault-finding. But we can rise above their insecurities by humbling ourselves. Count 1 to 100. Take a deep, deep breath. Not all battles are worth our time, strength and thinking.

At 25, I’ve learned to appreciate silence. In quietness, I find my soul. In solitude, I find my inner joy.

At 25, I’ve learned to appreciate my hobbies and skills. I love writing poems and musings, reading to my heart’s content, drawing awkward figures, painting colors and lines.

At 25, I’ve learned that no matter how flawed and quirky I am, there’s still that someone who will see beyond it, and who will love me. He may not be able to give me the whole world, but he, in his humble existence, will give me countless reasons to live in this world with positivity and butterflies.

At 25, I’ve learned that I need balance in my life.

At 25, I still have a lot to learn and unlearn. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that comforting?

Today, my mind is messier than my hair. But I don’t care.

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Zynara G. Sareno, 25, is an English teacher at Bugcaon National High School, Lantapan, Bukidnon, working on her Masters of Arts in Education-Educational Administration at Bukidnon State University.