What Ateneo – and illness – taught me
“Kapag namulat ka sa katotohanan, kasalanan na ang pumikit.”
My four years in Ateneo de Manila University were an eye-opener to realities beyond myself — raw, painful, real.
Along with these uncomfortable awakenings, however, Ateneo also filled me with love, so overflowing it demands to be shared with another.
Until four years ago, the idea of studying in Ateneo never occurred to me. My childhood dream, as the eldest of four siblings living with our parents in a small rented space in Pasig, was simple: to finish college and give my family a more comfortable life.
I persevered in my studies and received awards and scholarships. I finished grade school and high school at Pasig Catholic College as class valedictorian.
I first entered the beautiful campus of Ateneo for a math competition organized by the Ateneo Mathematics Society.
My team failed to reach the finals, and I thought I had no more chance of becoming an Atenean.
But when I became a participant in the 46th Ateneo Junior Summer Seminar, I became hopeful.
To prepare well for the college entrance examination, I borrowed reviewers from my friends who went to review centers, and woke up very early to study before going to school. I was determined to get a scholarship.
My efforts paid off. I was selected as one of Ateneo’s Freshman Merit Scholars. Who would have thought that of the thousands of examinees, I would land among the top 40?
My dream broadened from myself to others during my stay in Ateneo. Having seen the world from the other side of the table, I realized how fortunate I was.
I joined three organizations which focused on educating young children. Through Ateneo Gabay, Ateneo EDGE and Alay ni Ignacio, I met public elementary school students who taught me more than I taught them.
Although they will probably forget our lessons, it was enough to let them know that someone believed in them.
When I finished my second year with a quality point index of 3.84 (out of 4), I felt I had already achieved everything. I had high grades, a lively org life, many friends and a comfortable lifestyle.
In fact, aside from my degree in management engineering, I took another course, AB Economics-Honors.
I thought I was the embodiment of Ateneo’s magis, or giving more. However, my own selfish definition of magis and of “men and women for others” changed when the Lord crushed my plans and redirected my path.
In September 2016, in the midst of the most important semester to a management engineering student — when I almost had a magna cum laude standing — I was rushed to the hospital. My world seemed to fall apart when I found out I had end-stage kidney failure; 91 percent of my two kidneys were no longer functioning.
The only cure was a kidney transplant which would cost P2 million. While my family was saving up for the transplant, I had to undergo dialysis thrice a week. One session cost almost P5,000.
I felt confusion, sadness and fear. For the first time in my life, I was in a situation over which I had no control. I didn’t know what to do next, or even if there was a next step for me. I was on the brink of despair when I turned to God and found comfort in His words in Job: “The Lord gives; the Lord takes away. Blessed be His Name forever.”
At that moment I surrendered my life to God.
My doctor allowed me to leave the hospital to attend my classes, as long as my mother was with me. I was tempted to take a leave of absence so that my grades would not be affected.
It was then that I realized the more important things in life.
At the point of death, what matters are the relationships we have, and how we have used our one life to love and to enrich other lives.
My family may be wanting financially, but I am full in other aspects of life. I am loved, supported and provided for. This
realization pushed me to finish that semester.
I had dialysis sessions from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. every Monday, Wednesday and Friday so I could attend my classes in the morning. Friends patiently taught me our lessons, and teachers granted my requests for deadline extensions.
I didn’t expect the overwhelming support I got from the Ateneo community and beyond it. In February 2017, the process of healing culminated in my father’s kidney donation. I felt, then, that I continued to exist in the world by the grace of God.
It would have been easy for me, when I went back to school, to return to my old life and dreams. But at the government hospital where I was confined, I met “the Other.”
I met the faces behind the numbers I studied in economics and the data I learned in statistics. I saw the faces of “poverty incidence” and “wealth inequality.” Many stories exposed me to the realities of public healthcare in the Philippines.
What has my Ateneo education meant to me? Ateneo programs such as JEEP and immersion push students to accept their privileges and use them to benefit others.
Let me compare the Abby before coming to Ateneo with the Abby who graduated on May 25, 2018. The younger me was willing to sacrifice so much to give her family a better life; Abby the graduate considers the world her family.
I have been given so much, and I must go beyond myself and contribute to a world that encourages every child to dream. “Pangarap, hindi panaginip.”
I have experienced God through my parents, siblings, classmates, teachers, doctors, nurses, friends, unsung heroes, and the children who served as my inspiration. My prayer every night
is that the Lord may find me worthy to be an instrument to
others of His love.
I think this is what magis and “men and women for others” mean. The love of God and others is what keeps us alive. When we understand this, every action becomes an act of gratitude and praise.
The challenge to me is to pay forward this gratitude to others, braving the uncertain future with faith, hope and love.
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Gabrielle Anne U. Gobaton, 21, graduated from Ateneo de Manila University with a management engineering degree, cum laude. She wants to explore opportunities in the government or the private sector, to contribute toward an inclusive public health setting in the Philippines.
