No fear in love
Once adrift in the waters I now swim, leaving everything behind me to begin a new journey.
With one failed relationship after another, the sadness could have drowned me. It could have destroyed my hope completely. It could have stopped me from writing altogether, because for a while I thought I would never be able to speak about love again.
The anguish came in such strong currents that it swept me away from the light I once believed in. And yet here I am. I am gathering all the courage I can muster to tell you a story and how happy it has made me. I have never felt this peace in my life, and it is because of someone given by the good Lord.
I had prayed so hard for healing and He carried me through it all. He answered. He gave me more than enough.
It never ceases to amaze me how something so profound could come about unexpectedly. Glenn and I were two strangers fated and fortunate to meet, bound by the fellowship of our duty as teachers in the Children’s Worship Service.
“It was the grace of heaven that unlocked this great mystery,” I wrote in the poem I gave him for his birthday. And what a great mystery it was, indeed, to see another person in an altogether different light when you were once just a flicker in each other’s eyes.
Here is someone who had been waiting for me for a very long time. Someone who had taken risks and failed, someone who had loved and lost, but had never allowed the heartaches to break his faith and spirit.
Our own histories are fraught with chaos and indecision, but we are neither owned by our pasts nor defined by our mistakes. We set ourselves free and made this choice to love and be together because we believe in each other.
I remember how difficult it was then to fight for this love, how afraid I was to share it with the world, because putting it out here would mean placing ourselves under intense scrutiny. Nevertheless, we overcame the insurmountable and waited patiently for the right time.
The road is long and winding but it is worth every step and worth every fall. It led us to a beautiful place that heaven has prepared for us. God willing, we will keep this for the rest of our lives. I am praying and hoping for the best.
To the one who holds my heart, you know I love you. I am no longer afraid to tell the world about it.
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Carmina Tunay, 26, works in the Inquirer newsroom.
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