I have always wondered what extraordinarily successful people are like.
We have read literature about self-made millionaires who
are disrupting the market, or watched a movie on how one person revolutionized the tech industry and left a legacy so significant that the next generations will still recognize his feats.
I follow people on social media and think that their beautiful photos and happy stories are proof that they live a life much better than mine. I always think that they are smarter and worth more than me.
I spend some time on the balcony of my apartment, listening to the perennial noise of jeepneys and cars and the wee-woo of ambulances rushing to get to another part of the city, trying to imagine what it would be like to be someone else. I live in that bubble.
I have been feeling that everyone else has a better life and the deck is so stacked against me that I can never catch up. I have had this feeling for the last three months. I promise myself that when I move into a new apartment, I will start over. I will stop procrastinating. I will stop talking negatively to myself. I will stop questioning every decision I make. I will stop thinking that everything I do is a big mistake. I have become the most prominent critic of myself.
This belief of not being good enough has manifested in every aspect of my life—my family, my social life, my job. If I don’t change and open my eyes, my story will never change. These aspects of my life will not get better if I keep falling into the same trap.
Self-limiting beliefs are so dangerous; they can pull you down to the abyss of feeling not enough, lacking passion and purpose to become who you want to be. It cages you into thinking that you will never amount to anything significant.
But after going for a morning run, I felt a change. It was not an epiphany, but it felt like a rock suddenly thrown at my head.
There was a group of grandmas and grandpas sitting on a bamboo bench. I stopped for a moment and pretended to be focused on my earphones; I wanted to know what they were talking about. To my surprise, they were talking about food. However, it was not about the latest food trends or their favorite restaurant in the city, but the food they can’t eat. Why talk about the food you can’t eat? It didn’t make sense to me at first.
I continued eavesdropping. They were grinning and giddy, seemingly shy to divulge that they can’t eat lechon, munggo, sweets, and so on. They have dietary restrictions because they have hypertension, diabetes, gout, and so on. They want to live long enough to see their grandkids finish grade school at least. They are improving things, so they walk every morning, eat healthily, and spend time with their family.
Hearing them helped me change my perspective on how I was viewing my life. It was a perspective on getting old and learning that it’s never too late to make a radical change in my life. Whatever point it may be, I still have the chance to make things right. There will be hiccups and distractions, but it doesn’t mean I’ll be stuck forever.
Planning and visualizing will not change anything. It’s always a conscious effort; we can’t do it overnight. But the small steps we make will steer us in the right direction.
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Michael Anthony Ronquillo, 25, is a freelance social media manager.