Some are calling it a “social experiment,” although I doubt if singer Katy Perry, who once wrote a song called “I Kissed a Girl,” really wanted to test public attitudes about a woman taking the lead in giving lip service to a young man.
In other times and other climes, a man being kissed on the mouth by one of the most recognized music stars in the world would have elicited gasps of envy from other men. Instead, social media, said observers, “exploded with comments of sexual exploitation and a double standard.”
Benjamin Glaze, 19, the AI hopeful appearing in the newly resurrected talent search, has been described as “conservative,” saying that “if he had been asked, he would have said ‘no,’ as he was saving his first kiss for a relationship.”
Apparently, being kissed on air by a celebrity was not enough to constitute a “relationship” for Glaze.
Other observers noted that if the shoe had been on the other foot — if, say, a middle-aged male judge locked lips with a teenage girl contestant — “it’s not far-fetched to say that he would be out of a job.”
With the growing backlash created by the #MeToo movement in condemnation of the sexual exploitation still prevalent in the entertainment industry as well as other fields, it was just a matter of time before the tables were turned: men as victims (some men were also victimized by older and more powerful male personages) and women as predators.
Months after the kiss (which took place last October), Glaze said he doesn’t think he was sexually harassed by Katy Perry, although he admitted that he was “uncomfortable in a sense of how I have never been kissed before and was not expecting it.”
There are some men I know who must be wondering what Glaze’s problem is. Kisses are common currency in Hollywood and in the whole of show business. Some of them might even be considering locking lips with one of the most famous women in the biz an honor, a major form of flattery.
Still, the kissing “exchange” has mostly gone one way: the man making the first move, the woman succumbing, relenting and “melting” into the arms of her partner. Footage of Hollywood parties, for instance, are full of pairs exchanging lip locks as a way of greeting each other. Call it the “beso-beso” brought up a notch.
Recall, too, Adrien Brody ascending the Oscars stage to receive the Best Actor accolade for “The Pianist” and ambushing presentor Halle Berry with a heated, lengthy kiss. No condemnation was forthcoming and the incident was dismissed as a funny, comical reaction to an emotional moment.
Indeed, times have changed. A commentator points out that the kissing incident between Perry and the entrant demonstrates that “men and women are different” from each other and that we shouldn’t presume that what’s perfectly fine for a celebrity with a string of relationships isn’t necessarily so for a virgin who’s been saving his first kiss for his first love.
Other men and even women might titter at Glaze’s sensitivity, but his reaction precisely demonstrates that we never know what’s going on in another person’s mind. A man might think taking liberties is just part of a “boys will be boys” culture. A woman might think she is flattering a naive young man by showing interest in him.
Men who’ve been accused of sexual harassment and rape declare in their defense that they “thought” the other party was a willing participant. To this their victims say that they should have asked permission first, or, sensing resistance, they should have paused from their labors and made sure the other party was still willing. So when the sh*t hits the fan, the mealy-mouthed excuse “I thought she wanted it” would no longer be in play.
I do hope Perry learned something from this incident, as did Glaze and the producers of AI. After all, they needn’t have tried to milk the moment for all its salacious aspects. Someone’s feelings were violated, and while he seems to have moved on, exploiting the moment for all its publicity power leaves a bad taste in the mouth.