My mother-in-law

Many of us think of mothers-in-law as overbearing, nosy, critical or just plain annoying individuals who unfortunately, are part of the deal that goes with marriage.

But some of us are lucky.

Last week, the children of Mary Morales Joaquin marked her birth and death anniversaries both of which happen to fall on the same date in December. A number of people would think it unusual for anyone to be writing about a mother-in-law but Mary Joaquin was a most unusual person.

I first met my future mother-in-law when as a young high school student at UP High Diliman, I would drop by my father’s office at the old DMHM Building located beside Letran College in Intramuros, hoping to hitch a ride home with him. He was then editor and publisher of the Philippines Herald, one of several papers owned by the late Don Vicente Madrigal. Invariably, I would find myself waiting, waiting, and waiting until the paper was finally laid to rest at close to midnight before we headed for home. Much of the waiting time was spent doing my homework, reading all the papers, playing chess with the reporters or watching them type their stories. After awhile, I got to know most of them—Joe Lansang, Sammy Rodriguez, Caring Nuguid, Doroy Valencia, Teddy Benigno, Etang Perez, Lulu Henson, and Mary Joaquin, to name a few. That early, I recall that I could only get in a few words once Mary J. started a conversation.

Mary Joaquin was the eldest child of Eusebio Morales who belonged to the landed gentry of Moncada, Tarlac, and Frances Alden, a young English schoolteacher whom he met while taking up university studies in London. He was probably one of the few Filipino students in England at that time.

Eusebio Morales finished with a degree in marine engineering and naval architecture at Durham University just outside London. Shortly after, he took up an apprenticeship with the Thames Engineering Works. A few months later, the short, dark Ilocano married the petite, brown-haired, blue-eyed

English lady in a union of opposites. Not a few of her relatives were concerned about her going to such a faraway land to

live with “those” people. But she replied as only a woman deeply in love could that if “they were his people then they must be fine and wonderful individuals.” And so, the young couple spent their honeymoon on a slow boat back to the Philippines and settled down in Moncada.

After awhile, Morales set up the first ice plant in the country located at the foot of MacArthur Bridge, and soon the children came. First, Mary, then Carmen, followed by May, and finally, Eusebio Morales Jr. or “Frankie” to his friends and relatives.

The girls all attended St. Theresa’s College in Ermita and Frances Alden Morales made sure that they went to school in proper English attire, complete with wide-brimmed hats that naturally made them objects of a lot of ribbing from their classmates.

Mary Morales went to the University of the Philippines, taking up a pre-med course and quickly blossomed into a campus figure. In 1929, she was chosen as the first “sweetheart” of the College of Engineering fraternity, Beta Epsilon whose Most Exalted Brother at that time was Dominador Cepeda. Exactly 20 years later in 1949 her second daughter, Connie Paz, former dean of the UP College of Social Sciences and Philosophy, was also voted “sweetheart” of the same fraternity. The Most Exalted Brother was Alejo Aquino.

Mary’s university education was cut short by a marriage that eventually broke up. But she did pretty well on her own steam. Much of her work was in advertising and public relations, and the media in general. Her longest stint in government was at the National Electrification Administration where she worked with Jimmy Laya and Pete Dumol. Her greatest boast was that she made a substantial contribution to the electrification of our country. She once said that if she had anything to do with power in the country, brownouts would never have taken place. And over the years, I learned to quietly agree with everything she said.

Mary had her faults and weaknesses. She was a soft touch and very often, people took advantage of her. Generous to a fault, she could always be relied upon for help or support, be it financial or moral. She could also get carried away by her own exuberance. She was an effusive, demonstrative person who would embrace her children in a tight hug and remind them how much they meant to her. I can still see her dancing around the room, telling stories about her latest exploits and making sure that everyone was having a wonderful time.

We were never quite sure of her age. Several passports issued by the Department of Foreign Affairs carried different birth years and if we go by those documents, she actually became younger as the years went by. She was “Mommy M” not only to her children but also to her grandchildren and great-grandchildren. And we all miss her very much.

Adam and Eve were the luckiest couple in the world.

Neither of them had a mother-in-law.

My mother-in-law is a well-balanced person. She’s got a chip on both shoulders.

Reverse claustrophobia—the uncontrollable desire to lock yourself in a room or closet when the mother-in-law visits.

May the coming of the Christ Jesus bring us closer to Him and to each other. A joyful Christmas to all!