Do the Do’s

Last June 27, I received sad news that a dear friend and former work colleague succumbed to breast cancer. She was a survivor for nine years. I know she could have survived many more years had she done the “do’s” that needed to be done.

Last July 29, I celebrated another year of life, having been diagnosed with breast cancer in 2016. Thank God for the early detection, as it surely would have worsened had it been checked later.

When I received the results of my tests, my reaction was no different from all the rest. “Why me? How come? What now?” So many questions flooded me. I was just in denial. In hindsight, I knew it was also my fault. My regular checkups and mammograms since 2000 did not give me any reason to worry so I stopped going. It was only last year that I decided to visit my doctor again, when the results showed that I had the big C.

Radical mastectomy was recommended. My vain self protested “oh no!” Giving up my breast was, to me, giving up my dignity as a woman, and even my life. Looking back, I laugh at how dramatic I was. One of my sons (a doctor) refused to heed my protests, and insisted on the surgery. Flat out he told me: “Mom, if you don’t want the surgery, okay. Just let it spread.” Reluctantly I agreed. As if to compromise, at 63, I still requested for breast reconstruction. It’s funny when I think about it; who still asks for implants in their 60s?

My friend’s death makes me sad. I am, however, thankful for the lesson her passing taught me. Do not delay, never give up, and do the do’s.

This changed my perspective in life. I have started to slow down a bit as I realized I’m no longer the Wonder Woman I thought I was. Slowly, I am learning to say goodbye to stressful things. I now try to have more kindness, understanding, and consideration for others. I choose to be much more loving, giving, and forgiving. I welcome each day as a blessing.

I’m no longer curious about botox (never tried it, don’t need it now), but I’m still anxious about using hearing aids and walkers, and developing cataracts. I plan to welcome aching joints and brittle bones with a smile; after all, like it or not, all these happen at some point in our lives.

I will continue to enjoy what remains of my life. Lunch with friends, work for church, my arts and craft, reading and writing. I thank God first, my family, and my friends. I also thank my doctors (we share surnames, but not related) for their outstanding service.

These now are my new Do’s:

Do pray.

Do visit your doctor REGULARLY. He’s your BFF now.

Do what your doctor tells you to.

Do count your blessings and not
what’s missing.

Do not obsess about every small thing.

Do avoid loud and aggressive people; AVOID BEING ONE.

Do smile.

Do forgive and forget.

Do give more, and expect less.

Do prepare for an eternal and happy life ahead.

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Della E. Arcilla, 64, used to be features editor of her company’s corporate publication. Since retiring in 2005, she has continued to write for the news magazine of her church.