Your lipstick and women’s needs in Marawi

In the midst of war and crisis, the victims knock on our hearts that have been inured to the violent, oppressive and inhumane world in which we live. Our hands that have been schooled to operate according to our employers’ orders — to work eight hours a day, to abide by the dehumanizing structure — rest for a while, and function for/with our fellow human beings. So we get involved.

Christians, Muslims, Filipinos, Americans, civilians, rebels — everyone is taught to do good to others. To be able to work or even live for/with others is a phenomenon, coming from the “natural” response of women and men when they realize that things are going beyond the “normal” state. But when we contemplate our actions, we realize that sometimes, these create a harmful impact even if drawn from what we believe are good intentions.

Before the crisis in Marawi City interrupted our daily routine, there has been an existing social order which is violent in its core. It includes a widening gap between the rich and poor, allows government forces to kill civilians, and is marked by women suffering from the ills of patriarchy.

When former social welfare secretary Dinky Soliman was in Iligan last June 15, I was also there, with the National Interfaith Humanitarian Mission. We talked with the “bakwit,” particularly the women, who spoke about their observations, their disagreement with the imposition of martial law, and their struggles as they evacuated. A 22-year-old woman said that two days after the fighting started on May 23, their village had yet to be attacked. But she fled after a soldier told her in Filipino, “If you will not be good, I will rape you.”

The women evacuees spoke about their immediate needs, such as water and kitchen materials. Pregnant and lactating mothers said they were in need of reproductive health services. They said they wanted a stop to the aerial bombardment so they could return to their homes and livelihoods.

Did the bakwit ask for lipstick? (This was supposedly what the former social welfare secretary’s donation drive sought to contribute.)

Here is the reaction of a Maranao woman friend of mine to this reported effort: “In times of war, our narratives become everyday data: number of casualties, number of bakwit, number of hungry. We want humanized kinds of stories, but not like this one. We don’t deserve a story about
diluted suffering.”

A word of caution then: There are efforts that only reinforce the existing social order, which oppresses and discriminates against the majority, including women.

Women are deemed weak and domesticated, and are treated as cheap or unpaid laborers as their work remains invisible in the productive domain. They are also often regarded as mere objects of desire. Hence, they experience further marginalization in a conflict setting.

In times of crisis, we need helping hands. Let’s give what we can. All these calls to help are important, but support is useless without grounded, context-specific, and gender-sensitive measures. While the distribution of survival needs is necessary, our solidarity will be more effective if we listen to and learn from the people’s stories, analyze them, and intervene through tireless education and capacity-building.

Hunger (the everyday life of the poor), suffering and loss will be aggravated if this war on capital continues. Let us work together to end it. The internationalist leader Clara Zetkin once said: “Who benefits from the war? Only a small minority … manufacturers of rifles, cannon, of armor plate and submarines: the owners of docks and suppliers to the army. To increase their profits, they fomented hate between the different peoples and so contributed to the outbreak of war.”

As the victims of the Marawi crisis knock on our hearts, let us make that tiny space between sympathy and pursuance of life into an opportunity to challenge the existing violent social order, which has been creating and recreating this kind of war.

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Kristine A. Valerio, a sociologist and women’s rights activist, has worked in conflict areas such as Palestine and South Sudan. She is a member of Gantala Press Inc., an all-women’s group waging a campaign for relief and education in Marawi.