Two solid decades since my mother passed, we’re still standing
Dear mom, I figured I ought to write you on the occasion of your birth anniversary, as I often do. That your birthday actually falls in January is a serendipitous blessing — my letters to you have doubled as past-year recaps and forward-looking missives. After all these years, this day has come to stand as a reminder to both look back and look forward — you’re still here, this way. Past, future and present.
Anyway. You’d be surprised to know that, after a decade or so, I started writing this from an empty desk. As you must have already heard by now, I recently moved jobs, and my desk, being new, is clean.
You weren’t at all particular about the state of my desk at home, or even my room for that matter— I remember it used to be this unkempt pile of books and notebooks and brown envelopes filled with yellow paper and print-outs. I rarely saw the surface of that desk — I don’t even remember how it looked like bare. Still, I remember spending late nights hunched over that corner in my room, just trying to get things out of the way, day after day.
I admit that, not being a very organized person, seeing the actual surface of my desk is a new and somewhat jarring experience; I mean, I haven’t even yet started to mess it up, and already I feel guilty that I will be, for sure.
More than being a warning, watching a clean desk also feels like staring at a muted call to accumulate. That’s the hardest thing about moving, actually — it’s not the relocation per se (although that in itself held its own difficulties) but the shedding. I haven’t even fully processed yet all that shedding that had to be done — eleven years, after all, was a long time to spend collecting things. Perhaps it was the nature of the job — nothing was ever thrown away. A review of my files brought me back to Day 1, 2005, and I’m not even kidding.
ThINQ is the Inquirer's attempt to highlight in the public space the distinct viewpoints contributed by bloggers covering a wide range of topics and issues.
If you'd like to be included in the ThINQ blogger network, e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject "ThINQ Membership" along with your blog's URL and topics your blog currently covers.
Subscribe to INQUIRER PLUS to get access to The Philippine Daily Inquirer & other 70+ titles, share up to 5 gadgets, listen to the news, download as early as 4am & share articles on social media. Call 896 6000.