‘Sanayan lang’
In English, “sanayan lang” roughly translates as “one gets used to it.” Or, to borrow a line from the musical “My Fair Lady,” one grows accustomed to a face, to someone, to something, but in a “loverly” way.
There are things to which one should not simply get accustomed, so that one becomes numb and disabled from reacting. Among these are suffering, cruelty and a host of other evils that are inflicted on persons.
Even while I was writing this piece TV news was reporting on deaths, not by typhoon, tsunami, or earthquake, but by guns. Not in some war-torn country but in your neighborhood or some blocks away from where you live. It is still killing season hereabouts; a so-called war waged on some specific societal plague has turned into a contagion. Anyone who has an axe to grind, a long-held grudge or a motive, can find use in that so-called war, pack a gun, mount a motorbike, and ride off into the night.
At the Baclaran Church, the Redemptorist Fathers have mounted a photo exhibit of the killings. So un-Christmas-y you might say, but wasn’t the newly born Jesus himself the object of killers let loose by a despot named Herod?
Yesterday, Dec. 28, was the Feast of the Holy Innocents, which commemorates the mass killing of babies that targeted the Infant Jesus. As the prophet Jeremiah had foretold, “A voice was heard in Rama, sobbing and loudly lamenting: it was Rachel weeping for her children, refusing to be comforted because they were no more.”
One of several books I received this Christmas was “Sanayan Lang Ang Pagpatay,” a smoldering collection of poems in Filipino (152 in all) by Jesuit Fr. Albert Eduave Alejo (High Chair, 2016). The title roughly translates as “one gets used to committing murder.”
But before reading the poem with the murderous title, break into a smile while reading the dedication: “Alay sa Tatay ko at Mama ko/ na unang nagturo sa akin/ kung paanong magparagán ng kamiseta/maghati ng buhok na de pomada/wumasiwas ng muestra/ at bumigkas ng tulang patirada.”
Here is the tulang patirada, “Sanayan Lang Ang Pagpatay [para sa sector nating pumapatay ng tao]”. I heard the poem being read at a gathering of women.
Pagpatay ng tao? Sanayan lang ’yan pare
Parang sa butiki. Sa una siyempre
Ikaw’y nangingimi. Hindi mo masikmurang
Tiradurin o hampasing tulad ng ipis o lamok
Pagkat para bang lagi ’yang nakadapo
Sa noo ng santo sa altar
At tila may tinig na nagsasabing
Bawal bawal bawal ’yang pumatay.
Subalit tulad lang ng maraming bagay
Ang pagpatay ay natututuhan din kung magtitiyaga
Kang makinig sa may higit ng karanasan.
Nakuha ko sa tiyuhin ko kung paanong balibagin ng tsinelas
O pilantakin ng lampin ang nakatitig na butiki sa aming kisame
At kapag nalaglag na’t nagkikisay sa sahig
Ay agad ipitin ng hindi makapuslit
Habang dahan-dahang tinitipon ang buong bigat
Sa isang paang nakatalingkayad: sabay bagsak.
Magandang pagsasanay ito sapagkat
Hindi mo nakikita, naririnig lang na lumalangutngut
Ang buto’t bungo ng lintik na butiking hindi na makahalutiktik.
(Kung sa bagay, kilabot din ’yan sa mga gamu-gamo.)
Nang magtagal-tagal ay naging malikhain na rin
Ang aking mga kamay sa pagdukit ng mata,
Pagbleyd ng paa, pagpisa ng itlog sa loob ng tiyan
Hanggang mamilipit ’yang parang nasa ibabaw ng baga.
O kung panahon ng Pasko’t maraming paputok
Maingat kong sinusubuan ’yan ng rebentador
Upang sa pagsabog ay mapagpaalaman ang nguso at buntot.
(Ang hindi ko lamang maintindihan ay kung bakit
Patuloy pa rin ’yang nadaragdagan.)
Kaya’t ang pagpatay ay nakakasawa rin kung minsan.
Mabuti na lamang at nakaluluwang ng loob
Ang pinto at bintanang kahit hindi mo sinasadya
Ay may sariling paraan ng pagpuksa ng buhay.
Ganyan lang talaga ang pagpatay:
Kung hindi ako ay iba naman ang babanat;
Kung hindi ngayon ay sa iba namang oras.
Subalit ang higit na nagbibigay sa akin ng lakas ng loob
Ay malalim nating pagsasamahan:
Habang ako’y pumapatay, kayo nama’y nanonood.
May 2017 be less bloody than the year just passed. May Divine Light shine brightly on your life and loves in the year ahead and beyond. God makes all things new.
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