SHOPPING MALLS, fast food chains, ice skating rinks?these are some of things I always wanted as child. I always yearned for electronic toys, computer games and movies shown on the big screen, and my happiest moments as a child came during summer breaks, when we as a family would go to Manila to have a vacation.

I come from a small town in Masbate. Masbate is a beautiful island, blessed with many resources. We have fine beaches, a diverse marine life, huge gold and silver deposits, luscious green fields and golden rice fields seemingly stretching infinitely into the horizon. It is paradise for visitors, but a boring place for a young child like me back then.

I envied my cousins in Manila. Every time I would see them, they were always playing with cool electronic gadgets I did not even know how to operate. During reunions, I would sit still in a corner, afraid to talk to them because I thought they might not like me. After all I was a probinsyana. So I always looked forward to the time when we would be living in Manila for good.

As a kid, I did not dislike Masbate, but I did not love it either. Days in our town went by so slowly, and all I did was to read books because I felt that it was all I could do whenever I was not playing outside with our neighbors.

But as I grew up, I began to appreciate a lot of things. I went to a public school for my entire elementary schooling and my eyes were slowly opened. I began to see the realities of life. I was able to make friends with other people aside from our neighbors. I became friends with other students who had fishnets for their bags and classmates who did not own even a pair of slippers and went to school barefoot. Some had to walk three kilometers every day just to go to school. I came to know some people who ate kamoteng kahoy with bagoong for their only meal for the entire day. I noticed that half of our class was absent every harvest time, and later on I learned that it was because education was secondary for their families. The primary need was to earn for their families? daily living expenses.

Every new school year, I would look for some friends and find out that they had not enrolled. Later I would learn that they dropped out so that their brothers or sisters could go to school. I have been told stories that city folk would find unbelievable.

From all these experiences, I realized how lucky I was that I did not have to wake up early in the morning to graze the carabao, take care of my siblings, help in the house, work in the farm, sell fruits and vegetables harvested from the backyard, walk several kilometers and cross two rivers to go to school or do my school work at night under the light of a lampara. I realized how lucky I was that I had no relatives who died from curable diseases like tuberculosis just because there were no doctors they could consult in the health center.

Living in our province has been an eye-opener for me. I saw the bigger picture and realized that what I was seeing in our small town was also happening in many parts of the country. The Philippines is an agricultural country, but how many small farmers have land they can call their own? How many families have to survive on one meal of kamoteng kahoy a day? How many students stop going to school to give way to their brothers and sisters? How many parents left their children orphaned because of some curable diseases? Our small town is a microcosm of the nation.

Now, I am living and studying in Metro Manila. I have achieved the petty dreams of my childhood. I have watched numerous movies, gone to the malls, and even tried ice skating. But I am very grateful that I come from our small island. I am very thankful that my eyes have been opened at an early age. And I have come to realize that I should take an active part in helping my town and our nation achieve the change we need and that we should not stop until we all Filipinos are able to live decent lives. We live in this world only once, so we should live well and make a difference.

Now, I am no longer living my petty dreams. I am now living a dream to see the nation change.

Jonnah Marie D. Morado, 19, is a 4th year BA Sociology student at the University of the Philippines in Diliman.