During one of my recent graduate classes, when we were discussing Christmas rituals, an Iglesia ni Cristo (INC) student mentioned that their church does not celebrate Christmas, and instead considers the holidays a time to give thanks. (For readers who may not be aware of it, the Iglesia ni Cristo venerates Christ, and uses the Bible, but do not consider Christ divine.)

We might want to learn from the Iglesia ni Cristo in terms of looking at the year?s end as a time for thanksgiving. Despite the American influence in the Philippines, one which meant taking on many ?stateside? holidays, including Halloween, we never adopted their Thanksgiving, which took off from harvest festivals, and were tied to the early settlers? wanting to give thanks for surviving the harshness of frontier life.

Marcos once declared Sept. 21 as National Thanksgiving Day. Understandably, Filipinos didn?t take him too seriously, remembering the day more as the anniversary of the declaration of martial law, with a ?thanks, but no thanks? mood.

I am writing all this to mark the start of the official Christmas Season in the Philippines. The Christmas carols first invaded the airwaves as early as September but the more solemn season, marked by Catholics with Simbang Gabi or early morning Masses, starts Wednesday.

Whether we do go to these Masses or not (and I am told that attendance has been increasing, brought in part by the proliferation of bazaars in the vicinity of churches), we should reflect on Christmas and borrow from the INC?s idea of marking the year?s end with thanksgiving.

We could bring back, too, the original spirit of Christmas, honoring a remarkable man (or the Son of God, depending on your religious beliefs). Christmas has become such a stressful time because we feel obliged to give, and to do that, we have to battle traffic and crowds at malls and end up living with holiday grumpiness rather than cheer.

Sinterklaas

We forget that the original Santa Claus, St. Nicholas of Myra, was a 4th century Greek Christian bishop known for his generosity to the poor. One of those acts of generosity was his raising the dowry for three impoverished women so they could be properly married. Without that dowry, they would have become prostitutes.

When I was living in the Netherlands, we exchanged gifts on the night of Dec. 5 (or Dec. 6 in Belgium) to honor this good Bishop Nicholas or Sinterklaas, whose red episcopal robes were later modified to create the American Santa Claus, unfortunately now a commercialized caricature of St. Nicholas, now goading us to buy more, more and more.

I thought of the thanksgiving theme as well Tuesday morning when I attended the Christmas program organized by my kids? preschool, The Learning Connection. I often find Christmas programs and parties to be tedious chores but make an exception with preschool programs. It was different, too, this year because a close friend, a fellow professor, flew in from Europe and insisted on joining me for the program.

With her own daughter now close to 20, my Dutch professor friend warned me, ?You?re going to miss seeing children growing up, so attend as many of these occasions as you can.?

I think she took more photos and videos of the program than I did. She was thrilled at how spirited our preschool Christmas programs are, with teachers, parents and the children all caught up in the frenzy as we dashed from one presentation to another, rock versions of Christmas carols reverberating through the hall.

Chaos and cheer

There are three levels at the preschool?toddlers, juniors and seniors?and you can see this reflected in the programs. The toddlers, 2- to 3-year olds, are a mixed lot. Many stand still on stage, bewildered, wondering where all the adults came from. One or two will break out in tears. And another two or three will decide they want to go home, and walk off the stage.

The juniors, 3- and 4-year olds, still have their share of zombies and I was worried my son would be one of them, as he did during a grandparents? presentation, all dressed up as Michael Jackson but petrified on stage. This time though, maybe because he knew his Auntie Anita had come all the way from somewhere far to watch him, he hammed it up, even improvising a bit by pretending he had an electric guitar. The juniors will dance, but they have their own minds as to how to go about it.

The seniors, 4- and 5-year olds, were near perfect, knowing their steps, following their teachers? instructions. It was wonderful watching them, but also made one feel a bit nostalgic too for a time when they weren?t quite as compliant. And yet I could see that even as they followed the right steps, there were individual variations, differences in style, all wonderful to watch as you realized that even as children, human beings can be so diverse.

All that was certainly occasion for Christmas cheer?and thanksgiving. It?s a time to be appreciative of the teachers. All preschool teachers should be given national heroes awards for the way they manage children, coaxing them out of their shells, comforting the ones who have broken out in tears, calming down the ones threatening to turn cartwheels. You can tell the kids love the teachers, which is why they will try to perform, even if just to sway their hips or clap once or twice.

This year, I thought too of fellow parents. In the rush to bring kids to school, we barely get to exchange smiles, wave hello, wave goodbye. At Christmas programs, everyone?s too busy watching out for their kids, but you feel more of the parents? bonding, finding more time to talk to each other. One year I found myself with a mother and both of us profusely apologized for a recent spat between our kids, one which had been a bit more physical than usual. And of course, the two kids had gone on to become the best of friends.

And then there are the kids. What else do we live for but the kids, and seeing them growing up?last year?s shrinking violet hiding in one corner of the stage, blooming into this year?s graceful, hmmm, do I see a ballerina in the making?

Chaos, cheer, camaraderie. The times may be difficult, and the world may be messy, but we all have much to be thankful for in the abundance of friendships, of good will, of a full life across generations.

Confession time: By pleading for a more generic year-end thanksgiving season, I?m also apologizing for not having sent out gifts yet to friends and colleagues, to the wonderful teachers in preschools, the parents and the kids? classmates. East Asian cultures?Chinese, Japanese, Korean?emphasize the new year for gift-giving, which is what I?ll do. And if I miss the solar new year, there will be the lunar one, which in 2010 will coincide with Valentine?s Day. Sigh, smile.

Email: mtan@inquirer.com.ph