The story is told about two monks who were having a hearty conversation on Christmas Eve, the only time of the year when they were exempted from their monastic rule of perpetual silence. Just then the bell rang, signaling the end of their talking time. When the two of them met again on Christmas Eve of the next year, the first monk enthusiastically started: “Ah, as I was saying last year…”
The story is told about a rapist who was sentenced to life imprisonment. Upon hearing the verdict, he shouted in a rage: “I raped one person. How come the people of the Republic of the Philippines are now all against me?”
The story is told about a family that was so engrossed with details as their father lay dying in his hospital bed. When the family members asked him whether he wanted to be buried or cremated, the old man told them in exasperation to make the decision themselves: “Bahala na kayo, mga anak. Just surprise me na lang, okay?”
The story is told about a German pastor who was to speak at a gathering, and who requested the emcee to make a simple and basic introduction of him sans titles or achievements, to just say that he is a humble shepherd or something to that effect. So the emcee said: “Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce to you our speaker, a simple German shepherd!”
The story is told about a dying woman who told her children: “When I die, have my remains cremated, and have my ashes scattered in the mall nearby.” When her children asked her why, her response was: “In that way, I know you will always be present and visit me at least once a week.”
The story is told about a man who, realizing that walking as a form of exercise is good for his health, started walking at the age of 65. We heard that up to now, he is still walking; he is nowhere to be found, and his relatives are looking for him.
The story is told about a father who told his son: “Look at that guy pulling a rope while walking. He must be crazy!” After some thought, the little boy said: “Really, Dad? OK, show him how to push a rope.”
The story\is told about an uncle who was assigned to choose a name for his newly born niece and nephew. Twins! Guess what he named them? The girl he named Denise, and the boy he named Denephew!
The story is told about a man who prayed thus on New Year’s Eve: “Lord, all I ask for 2014 is a fat wallet, and a thin belly. Lord, please don’t mix it up again, like You did last year!”
Someone made the interesting observation that while there are many pictures of Jesus and Mary, there are very few pictures of St. Joseph. Why? Because he is always the one taking the pictures!
The story is told about a man who required from all persons wanting to receive a Christmas gift from him the following: NSO (National Statistics Office) birth certificate; baptismal certificate; biodata and four pictures with red background; medical certificate; police and NBI (National Bureau of Investigation) clearance; and a letter of request for a Christmas gift, to be submitted not later than Dec. 20, 2013. No compliance with the requirements, no gift!
Question: What did the mother fish say to her young who was lost and finally found after a lot of searching? Answer: “Anak, isda you?”
