The story is told about a teacher who asked his students: “If K9 refers to the family or offspring of dogs, what family or offspring does K10 refer to?” One student stood up and said: “K10? Cats, ma’am!”
The story is told about an elderly citizen who was stopped by the police for speeding. When asked why he was in such haste, his answer was: “Sir, I was in a hurry to go to where I was going before I forget where I was going!”
The story is told about a tourist guide who was busy giving a talk to his group, when suddenly his cell phone rang. His two hands were full, and he could not respond to the call. What he did next was most unexpected: He licked the phone with his tongue to swipe it open, and proceeded to answer the call!
The story is told about a little girl who prayed: “Lord, I’m running late for the Mass. Please help me!” As soon as she said that, she tripped and fell to the ground. Whereupon she said: “Lord, I asked you to help me, not push me!”
The story is told about two old men having a talk at a bar. The first one said: “Hey, did you know that Christmas Day will fall on a Friday this year?” The second man said: “Really? I hope it will not be Friday the 13th!”
The story is told about a wife who frantically called her husband: “Joe, come home quickly. I don’t know what to do! Your children and my children are fighting our children!”
Someone sent me this text message: “If you eat litson baboy (roasted pig), you eat pork. If you eat litson baka (roasted cow), you eat beef. So if you eat litson kawali… you eat a frying pan?!”
The story is told about a teacher who asked her students what their dreams were. Miguel said he wanted to become a doctor. Rose said she wanted to become an accountant. Claro said he wanted to become a lawyer. And Nenita said she simply wanted to have many children. When the teacher asked Isko what his dream was, his answer was: “Ma’am, I just want to help Nenita in her dream.”
The story is told about a 75-year-old man who was sipping a glass of wine while seated at the porch with his wife. The man said: “I love you so much. I don’t know how I can live without you.” So thrilled, his wife asked him: “Is that you, dear, or is that the wine in you that is talking?” Whereupon the husband replied: “It’s me, dear, talking to the wine I am sipping.”
The story is told about a husband who made a frantic call from his hotel room to the manager, saying: “Send someone to our room fast. My wife and I are having an argument and she is threatening to jump out of the window!” The manager calmly said: “With all due respect, Sir, that is a personal matter.” To which the husband responded: “What is between me and my wife is a personal matter. But whether the window will open or not is a management matter!”
The story is told about a religion teacher who asked her students this biblical trivia question: “Who had constipation in the Bible?” One smart student answered: “Solomon, Ma’am, because he sat on the ‘throne’ for 40 years.” Another smart student said: “Cain, Ma’am, because he wasn’t able (read: Abel)!”
The story is told about a man who related to a doctor how much he has benefited from his treatment, and how grateful he was. Puzzled, the doctor told him: “But you are not one of my patients!” Whereupon the man said: “That’s right, Doctor, but my uncle was, and I am his heir!”
