Kris-Crossing Mindanao

Aquino’s pork chop


When Filipinos make a spoof of reality, it is also to find relief from the stress of thwarted expectations. Today is the day of the firestorm. Today is the day for the Million People March. And to Luneta it will not only be. As we write, several of our countrymen in provincial urban centers are preparing as well for mass mobilization. Gatherings of kindred goal  will be taking place around the world, with our overseas Filipino workers in the frontline. Never before since the Marcos dictatorship has been there such an epic expression of indignation against government by its own citizens on a worldwide scale.

This is a day of history. For President Aquino, it is his “make-or-break day.” But as hinted by his announcement last Friday, he has chosen to trivialize the nation’s indignation. Flanked by two of his top lieutenants, the newly installed Senate President Frank Drilon and Speaker Feliciano Belmonte, who themselves are not strangers to the taste of pork, the President has chosen, from all the options available to a head of government, to use double-speak. He said he will abolish the pork barrel, but that he will reprogram it—meaning, he is not abolishing it. The bumpiest stretch of  daang matuwid  has just begun.

Janet Lim-Napoles is just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. The iceberg’s bigger mass—in fact, the biggest pork barrel of them all—which lies beneath, mostly out of public sight, like the Priority Development Assistance Fund (PDAF), also goes by a special name and an acronym. It is called SPF or the Special Purpose Fund. The PDAF for 2014 is only P25.24 billion as against the SPF, the pork barrel of the president, which is a whopping P449.95 billion. That is about one-fifth of the entire national budget. No wonder it has been called the “bigger monster” by Leonor Briones.

As our legs are being pulled, we fume even more with seething anger. Under Mr. Aquino, the pork has become even fatter. That goes true as well for his share of the pork—increasing by P44.6 billion in just two years. And we thought Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo has  always   been the problem. What hypocrisy!

President Aquino is a zealous man. He has the zeal to prosecute Arroyo. He had the zeal to prosecute Renato Corona. He had the zeal to push for the Reproductive Health Law in the face of stiff opposition. But he does not have as much zeal to truly abolish the pork barrel, much less not to dangle his own pork as legislative enticement. For didn’t he successfully entice Congress to pass the RH Law by greasing the yes votes with his pork lard? No wonder our country is poor because of corruption and not because of too many babies.

No, we are not the bosses of this President. The bosses have spoken. But the employee has chosen to defy what they want. There is one trait of the Filipino. The more fun he makes, the deeper he drives home the point. Today is also a day of wit and humor but not for comic relief. By laughing, the Filipino laughs more at government and the more government becomes a laughingstock. By trivializing the people, government becomes more trivialized.

Today then we laugh, the laughter spurred by the creativity of the Filipino to bring home the message to a presidential palace whose occupant has started to forget who put him there in the first place. Mr. Aquino said he will only reprogram the pork barrel. As tradition goes, we can be sure it will just assume another name. From Countrywide Development Fund to PDAF, Malacañang can take a pick from the suggestions of Filipino netizens:

Budgetary Allocation for Collaborative Outreach Nationwide (Bacon), Lawmakers Initiative for Emergency, Miscellaneous and Personal Outlay (Liempo), Livelihood Empowerment for Countrywide Humanitarian Outlaw Network (Lechon), Pinagandang Iligal na Gastusin (Pig), National Assistance Program of Lawmakers Engaged in Swindling (Napoles), Holistic Lawmaking for Development of All Filipinos (Holdaf), Selective Enforcement of Budgetary Outlays (Sebo), Government Outlay Line-itemized and Appropriated Yearly (Golay), Bridges, Excavations & Elevated Roads Fund (Beef), Countrywide Allocations With Accountability and Transparency (Cawat), National Allotment for Countryside Amelioration and Welfare (Nacaw), P-Noy’s Initiative for Good Governance Countrywide (Piggy), Budget for Allies for Continuation of Party Dominance (Bacon-PD), Hearty Allocation of Money (Ham), Benigno Aquino Development Assistance Fund (Badaf), Countrywide Outreach and Rehabilitation Assistance Fund (Coraf), BSA’s Awesome Budget for Outstanding Allies of the Year (Baboy), Horrifyingly Unlimited Money for Belmonte, Aquino and Allies (Humba), P-Noy’s Allowance and Treasury Allocation (Pata), Social Initiative for Service in Governance (Sisig), President’s Overt Revenue Kickback (Pork), President’s Outlay for Countrywide Handling of Emergency Rehabilitation for Opulence (Pochero), Legislative Allocation for Reform and Development (Lard), Barangay Initiatives for New Allocations Granting Oversight On Non-Government Associations Nationwide (Binagoongan), Presidential Oversight for Relatives and Kin with Budgetary Entitlement from Legislative Largesse Yearly (Pork Belly), National Allotment for Countrywide Amelioration and Welfare Initiative Fund (Nacawin Fund).

It’s just changing the fare from lechon to crispy pata. And “Crispy Pata” is Countrywide Re-distribution of the Inherent Source of Patronage for the Yellow President’s Allies, Toads and Associates. I say Oink (Outlay for the Interest of Noynoy and Kinfolks) to that.

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  • Mamang Pulis

    ..lechon baktin…lami kaayo

    • Eustaquio Joven

      Sino ang ating uunahin. Akin ang aking idol na si Ed Angara. Mamantika.

  • Josemakabayan

    Ngayon tutulo ang mga mantika ninyong lahat mga PORKIES !!!!!! BABOY KAYO !!!!!!

  • AllaMo

    Such a magnificent, detestable spread only Filipinos can come up with. I don’t care. It is still funny. Stay vigilant. Stay committed!

  • batchmatters

    Maybe PNoy is worried than when the pork barrel is gone, the incentive for congressmen and senators to push for peace in mindanao would be gone too. And there goes as well the prospect of lost lasting peace in the south which by tons of money we spend for saps the government`s already very limited resources.

    But must PNoy or most of us not trust in the decision and wisdom of people even in congress especially when confronted with the wrath of an indignant nation? Throwing aside my usual pessimism, cynicism even – I just hope our officials are not really yet beyond redemption.

  • hagnonoyboy

    When questions pile up, the suspicion creeps that PNoy is after all just another trapo,
    not part of the solution but part of the problem: 1. People clamored that he sack DILG ASEC Puno after Luneta hostage fiasco, but he did not heed his “Boss.” 2. He didn’t sack LTO Virgina Torres after Stradcom fiasco; 3. he pushed for the RH Bill despite assuring CBCP he wont; 4. He says jueteng is not his priority despite clamor against jueteng as main source of corruption for PNP which is the most corrupt agency in the govt.; 4. He’s against the FOI Bill despite public clamor for its approval. Now we know PNoy is just another trapo–after all he was in Congress and Senate and knew about the pork shenanigans but did nothing about it, even thrived in it. Daang Matuwid is now just another slick advertising slogan –an advertisement bereft of truth. And what’s Yamsuan doing in Ochoa’s office? And what’s OCHOa of MOST–Marcos, Ochoa, and Erap’s Atty.Serapio–doing in Malacanang? And what’s Asec Agawin , JocJoc’s asssistant still doing in DA–at na promoted pa? Hindi alam ni PNoy, so walan syang alam, o alam nya pero ayaw nyang malaman? Same-same din ito!!!Kawawang bayan.
    kaya tanggalin na yan lahat pati si kalbong PNoy!

    • vince_bugaboo

      Yamsuan, it seems, is also enjoying the spoils of…corruption; an even more obnoxious sin because she guises as a prole to put a wool in our eyes in order to do it. What stomach-contents regurgitating person with her maneuver! Pwaahh!!

  • vince_bugaboo

    “Tuwid na Daan” & “Kayo ang Boss ko” are the most hackneyed and corniest slogans or phrases that I ever heard in my life! When uttered by this president with his frozen facial grin, loudly or otherwise, they sound doubly inane and stupid!

    Now let’s see if he still has the nerve to cite them after his monumental miscalculation of his ” bosses’ ” sentiments and affronted credulity.

    Let us not be satisfied and pacified with the total abolition of the pork barrel; let’s also demand not only the removal of this president’s own pork, the so-called Special Purpose Fund (SPF), but also for the incarceration in prison of the Senatongs and Tongressmen who are involved in the scam of the decade! We continue to “March” for these aims!

  • TwiggyRamirez

    …mabibigkas pa kaya ni PNoy sa taumbayan ang kanyang popular na linyang: “Kayo ang BOSS ko…” sa susunod na SONA?


    You nailed it!
    Keep the fire burning! Hat’s off to you, sir.

    • Eustaquio Joven

      Same here.

  • FannyMacquiao

    Coz the truth is he does not have the real zeal go after and fight corruption. The daan matuwid slogan and the fight corruption mantra is nothing more than an excuse to justify him attacking his political enemies in particular GMA. His real passion is to settle his personal vendetta against her for probably giving his land away to farmers and that seems to be where PNoy’s zeal stems from.

  • Laz_Iresoj

    Fact is, ‘MANHID’ ang Presidente, ang mga Senador at lahat ng mga Opisyal na iyan. Sarili lang nila ang iniisip nila. Wala silang pakialam kung ano ang dinadanas ng mga Filipino. Lahat ng sinasabi nila, hindi galing sa damdamin kasi hindi sila maka-relate sa mga Filipino. May sarili silang mundo, at hindi kasali dun ni-isa sa atin. Tayo ay para bang ‘audience’ lang na kailangan nilang pasayahin sa kanilang ‘concert’. Tama nga na ‘Circus’ ang Politics dito. Kaya nga wala tayong choice, either tawanan na lang natin iyan o pag-isipan pa ang nakapanglulumong realidad na ginagamit lang tayo ng mga politiko, na wala tayong kapangyarihang baguhin ang takbo ng ating buhay, ng ating bansa, ating kinabukasan. Kaya nga minsan mapapaisip ka na rin na mas mabuti pang dumanak ang dugo, kesa sa unti-unti tayong kinakatay ng katiwalian ng mga walang konsensyang mga politiko na iyan.

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